uneg2ku

i miss my fashion fun days.

2006-03-21T05:32:59Z

being in the fashion capital of australia, I feel I'm not making use of it.
I saw Ash Grunwald playing at Uni - he was one of the opening acts at the Ben Lee/Missy Higgins concert in Brisbane. Some of the ppl who came looked really fashionable. Not the "it" girl type, paris hilton sort of fashionable, but the unique and individual fashionable. Pretty scarves around heads, cool tops, and colourful skirts.
I miss dressing up to Uni. Even when I did do it in gold coast, it was kinda weird, since it was such a boring little campus... but I had fun dressing up anyway, picking which earrings or scarf I'd wear for the day. It would be extra fun if I met Ainslie that day because then we could talk about what we're wearing. oh the joy! I vow to return to my love of dressing up!

bookfest rawks

2006-01-22T04:50:42Z

I went to the huuuuge lifeline bookfest yesterday. I think I'll go again tomorrow or tuesday.
I got 3 peanuts comics and 5 random magazines (inc. a June 2005 Vogue girl) for only $2 - All together!
plus, believe it or not, I bought the Smurfs Hits CD for 2.50. Never knew it exsisted. A lot of Smurf cheesiness, but at only $2.50, no way was I going to let it go by

graduating!!

2005-12-04T13:37:36Z

graduations is just around the corner, and as corny as this is gonna sound.. what am I going to wear???
I couldn't find much pics or info about what people usually wear, although I have seen glimpses here and there. I was thinking of wearing my black pants with my pink kebaya/kurung top, but then it might be too hot since I'll probably have to spend a couple of hours catching public transport to get there. I have another dressy top that I wore for the iftaar a year ago. It's material is white, light, and it has some delicate-looking paintings of purple flowers all over it. It's quite pretty, too bad that it's also quite small and there are yellow stains around most of the seams. I'm hoping it's not that obvious though. I'm going to try and give it a nice hand wash tomorrow morning and see it it helps.

SHOES!! Here's where I'm really lost. I have a pair of black flats that look nice - until I start walking in them as they keep slipping of my heels. The only other option is my pink flats, which I'm not too keen on since it's.. pink. And not just pink, it's baby pink! I should probably go out and invest in a good pair of dress shoes, as I really have none. I'm really crap at buying shoes though. Sandals and flip-flops are fine, but shoes... ugh, they're either too expensive or too uncomfortable in the end, plus I've never really gotten the hand of talking to the shop assistants

It's 11.37 pm, not sleepy and it's frickin' HOT!!

please reply

2005-11-24T23:45:00Z

When do you know you can call someone your "best friend"? are they the ones you can have heart-to-heart conversations with?
Have you had many in your life? Do they come and and go? When they go, is it a big deal? Do you feel emotional? Or does it just happen that they drift away?

I've been lately obsessed with the idea of friendship. I feel my life at the moment is lacking some good genuine friendships. Everything has become either complicated or stained. Maybe I have a tendency to hold on to something more than those people who I expect to do the same.
I can't remember the last time I could just sit down and honestly talk to someone - and feeling good about it - as they listen unselfishly and lovingly. And I can't remember the last time I let someone else do that.
I miss crying in someone arms. I miss telling someone that I've been crying and then not be judged by it. I miss laughing so much that it hurts. I miss being in someone's company and not worrying about what the other is thinking.
It's been too long

i miss you

2005-11-20T06:27:54Z

the latest song on my play-constantly-on-repeat-and-has-appropriate-lyrics-for-a-part-of-my-life

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Hold on to me and, never let me go

I want a Peanuts T-shirt!

2005-11-10T06:54:08Z

I saw the coolest T-shirts at Myers today when I went out with Karen.
There were stacks of nostalgia-type t-shirts of Peanuts, the Muppets, and Sesame Street characters. My favourite were the Peanuts ones, they were slight cheaper than the Muppets ones, but most of them were either size 12 or 14. The only one that was in my size, 10, was this super cool dark navy blue t-shirt with a huge picture of Peppermint Patty's miserable-looking face on one of the bottom corners. I think it was around $24, can't remember for sure. Oooooh, if there's ever a moment when I wanted a piece of clothing that seemed to *perfect* - this could be it! But I had just bought a top from Sportsgirl today, I didn't want to spend too much today. And yeah, it doesn't seem too expensive, which is why I'm starting to have second thoughts of whether I should just go back and buy it before it's gone

There was also some Cookie Monster hooded jackets - but I don't think summer is a good time for that

Suddenly I'm in the mood again for being creative and making another DIY shirt. I spattered some curry on my white shirt today, so I was thinking I try using my new fabric paint and paint something on it. Maybe not a Peanuts character though, hee hee

heart like a wheel

2005-11-10T06:32:48Z

I just got The Corrs' new album, "Home"
and as always with me and new albums, I'll have an instant favourite that I can't get enough of. Right now it's this one

"Heart Like A Wheel"

Some say the heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it you can't mend it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
My heart is on that ship out in mid-ocean

They say that death is a tragedy
It comes once and then it's over
But my one only wish is for that deep dark abyss
For what's the use of living with no true lover

And it's only love and it's only love
That can break a human being
and turn him inside out
That can break a human being
and turn him inside out

When harm is done no love can be won
I know it happens frequently
What I can't understand please
God hold my hand
Is why it should have happened to me

And it's only love and it's only love
That can break a human being
and turn him inside out
That can break a human being
and turn him inside out

Some say the heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it you can't mend it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
My heart is on that ship out on mid-ocean
And it's only love and it's only love
And it's only love it is only love
And it's only love it is only love
And it's only love it is only love

went to pac fair

2005-10-31T09:06:11Z

I went to Pac Fair with Ivana today. I didn't buy anything - aside from a few grocery items - but I had a good time, it was much better than I had expected, especially since I've never really gone out with Ivana before. She's a great gal.
Although at the end, I felt bad for never hanging out with the other Indonesians.

shyness - 1
me - 0

final day of final year... finally

2005-10-28T09:18:50Z

this is not what I expected at all. It was so... "yep, that's it. see you later". no drama. not even a single "it's been great, hasn't it?". I still have never spoken to most of the people in class. But let bygones be bygones.
Me and Ainslie took pictures as we were walking outside of Multimedia. I was a bit embarassed when some of the other students walked past, but we ended up taking a picture with Alexie too.
Me, Ainslie, and Bernice did our final presentation for Professional Practice. In our feedback, we did pretty good eventhough during the presentation we couldn't escape our palm cards, and ugh, that class is a really tough crowd! I could hardly push a smile out of those people when we showed our examples. There was one norwegian guy (don't know his name) who smiled nicely when I talked about pop-ups in websites, but everyone else was like :| sheesh
Bernice and Alexie said that they're gonna have a beach bbq for everyone. That would be really nice. I already know that Mira wouldn't want to go. Ainslie wasn't sure, but I'd go if she does.
Oh, Ainslie and I are going to see the ben lee and missy higgins concert tomorrow night. Aaaaah!! I can't wait! I'm so excited - I have never ever been to a concert in my life, and to see ben lee and missy higgins --- AAAH! It's going to be at the river stage. I have never been there before, but hopefully we can find our way. Maybe I should ask at the visitors information place at the city first in the morning. I hope it'll be great.

reminder

2005-10-11T08:40:09Z

reminder to self: Stop buying the canteen's fried rice! you HAVE tasted it more than once before - never had you not complained about the taste.

God, I could really really use the company of a friend right now. Someone who'll listen to me. Or just hold me. Or something.

I think I have to learn to enjoy people's company more, instead of worrying about pleasing them.

I'm so exhausted. I wish I had a magazine to read.

goodbye

2005-09-13T05:24:52Z

Right now I am in a state of absurd sadness that I can't even describe it. I wish I could tell someone, but how do you achieve sympathy for something so unreasonable.

I thought about this song. The whole lyrics have no relations whatsoever with what I'm going through now. But it's sad. and sad is enough.And maybe, with some extreme examination, the song is excactly about what I'm feeling. So hollow baby. so hollow.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow,

baby,

I'm so hollow.

I'm so,

I'm so hollow.

alhamdulillah

2005-09-01T04:02:06Z

I haven't said alhamdulillah in a long time, and now I have just found many little reasons to.
Yesterday Haitham called me for no reason at all - that made me happy - Alhamdulillah
Yesterday I decided to go to Brisbane by train and spend time in the city, mostly in Borders - that made me happy - Alhamdulillah
Today we had another client meeting with AVA PetPEP for the project and it went well, I dressed nicely, and most importantly, able to speak up and not just be in the background - that made me happy - Alhamdulillah
Just now, I gave Dorothy's mum some Indonesian coins for her collection and she seemed very happy - which made me happy - Alhamdulillah
Mira said she'll stay over tomorrow and Saturday night, we'll be seeing Karen too, and on Saturday night we'll see the fireworks at the River Festival, sounds like a good plan - I'm a bit excited - Alhamdulillah

4ever (the Veronicas)

2005-08-27T23:16:58Z

Here we are so what you gonna do
Do I gotta spell it out for you
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don’t really care

Size me up you know I beat the best
Tick tock on time to rest
Let them say what their gonna say
But tonight I just don’t really care

Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever

Ive seen it all I’ve got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight
Like me just don’t care

Let me take you on the ride of your life
That’s what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say
cuz tonight I just don’t even care

Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever

Lets pretend your mine
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you’ll want more

So tell me what your waiting for

Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you

Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever

------
*hot new act*
"The Veronicas are 20 year-old identical twins from Brisbane Australia, Jess and Lisa Origliasso. "

http://www.myspace.com/theveronicas

I'm kicking myself for missing their performance at the city earlier this month - I didn't care because I hadn't even heard their song yet, which I have on repeat right now.

Apparently they got their name from the Veronica character in the Archie comics. But I just read they're being sued because of it. It would be a shame - not to mention a lot of trouble - to have to change their band name now.

How to be dead (Snow Patrol)

2005-08-25T11:37:14Z

"How To Be Dead"

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

freezing and stressing

2005-08-12T08:20:00Z

i can't seem to communicate what I think properly. or at all.

words of wisdom

2005-08-02T22:33:32Z

you hear so many "words of wisdom" until it becomes pathetic cliches.
let's face it, there are so many things that you hear and in your head you know it's true but somehow that isn't enough. Like what they say about making mistakes, how "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" or it doesn't even have to be an actual saying, it could be just an opinion, like being confident and taking chances.
Words just become words if there's no experience behind it. That's how it feels right now.

spontaneous

2005-06-30T12:53:07Z

I need to be spontaneous. Tomorrow. Morning. After breakfast and after I wash my hair. Of course, I'll have to wait until my hair dries. THEN I can be spontaneous. Oh, but while I'm spontaneous I have to remember to buy an emergency light.
That's me.
I just can't be spontaneous without planning it. Which ruins the whole point, I know.
Reminds me of that quote from Spice World (yes, I was a Spice Girls fan and still love Victoria Beckham), anyway, I googled it just to make sure "If they're going to be spontaneous, they have to clear it with me first."
Well I'm going to just fall into another state of semi-depression again if I don't put some spice in my life - har de har har, geddit?

shop shop shop

2005-06-26T05:04:28Z

well today I am officially totally home alone. I went to the city and did a lot of shopping. I thought I'd go for it. Enough with just coming in shops - touching - looking at price tags - and leaving. This time I'm buying! I got a scarf from Accessorize, earrings from Diva and a pair of pink shoes. I'm not good with small talk, but I did it anyway with the shop assistants, especially in Accessorize and the shoe shop. Yeah, maybe the only reason they were chatty and nice to me was because I was a customer, and yeah maybe the fact that they were chatty did affect me actually buying something. But I may as well talk to them seeing that I won't have anyone to talk to for a while. It's an interesting skill, this whole small talk thing. I wish I could be better at it, although I think I did fine today. I guess they're trained to compliment the products - as well as the cutomers - to get us to buy. But at the end of the day, they're probably young women in their 20s who like fashion and talking to people anyway. The girl from the shoe shop even had the same name as me - I pointed that out to her when I noticed her name tag. I liked everything I bought. At first, I had a few second thoughts, especially the earrings that were a bit bent, but it was on sale anyway and no one will hardly notice.
Yep, I'm going to enjoy my new scarf, earrings, and shoes! It's time to look after myself. I want to be like one of those independent women who are comfortable walking around the city by themselves and being oh-so chic and fashionable, haha... I'm going to have fun with all this dressing up while I'm by myself! no need to worry about friends commenting my dress style (ooh, I must admit that it did feel nice when the Accesorize girl said she liked what I was wearing today!)

ride the wave

2005-06-03T00:09:11Z

yesterday we had nothing left to do in class as everyone had already did their presentations and submit their assignments. So Di got us all to sit at the table and gave us a little talk, she was talking about when problems come crashing in - like, well, waves - it's time to ride it.

They weren't there

2005-05-25T10:20:53Z

by Missy Higgins Gorgeous song
You breathed infinity into my world
And time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl.
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night.
Then you said, "wait for me we'll fly the wind,
We'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him" but oh,
Now my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare of
Any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
And led through fields of naked land
Where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say "no".

You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew.
You were there blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say,
I wouldn't say "no". But they all said, "you're too young to even know,
Just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him"
But oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say "no".

....

2005-05-25T10:11:15Z

I bumped into Jack, my Principles and Methods of Design tutor from 2 years ago. We had a small friendly chat that made me feel nice inside. He didn't remember my name and thought that he taught me last year, but still very friendly nevertheless. He asked if I'll be going home after graduating, and I said something about thinking of staying in Australia, in which he asked "do you have a man?" *sigh* I gave a firm no with a serious face (hope he saw the sarcasm though, not that I have a man, but I wasn't upset or anything like that)
The presentation went well, in my opinion. Some of the other groups did a much better job, but I hardly thought about it. It's over and I didn't stumble or shake in any of the words. I've come to the conslusion that this semester is a relaxed semester. I'm not so worried about things and don't feel as self-conscious as before. In the 1st year, it was filled with depression. It got better in the 2nd semester, but I think it was the 2nd year that was most eventful and fun, especially because of Mira, Sita, and Karen - and Ainslie and well, a few other new friends I made along the way. And now in the 3rd year, there's less drama, I feel more ok with things. Awkwardness in the multimedia classes still exsist (It seems there's a new generation of 2.20 residents already), but I've gotten used to it. It's nice to be a senior.

ideas for digital art project

2005-05-25T07:54:19Z

I know I want it to have some multi-race/culture theme. I want it to be something, that although having a deep art context, can be enjoyed by the general public. Something that would look nice on greeting cards. Something with a positive feel to it.
I want to take pictures of people of all shapes and colours. But I don't know what to do with it.

tuesday morning

2005-05-23T22:16:25Z

that Luke guy from Hot Tomato radio station is so funny this morning.
I need to take a shower, but I'll wait at least another 30 min because I'm afraid I'll freeze in the shower! Although it's not so cold this morning - I'm still not trusting that shower.
I feel bored. People are stressing about assignments, I'm not. I want to. At least then I'll know I'll be making use of my time.

:)

2005-05-19T07:55:42Z

well today went well, definitely better than yesterday.
The presentation was good, I didn't lose my voice throughout the whole thing, and Di seemed really appreciative about the artists I chose, especially Nancy Burson (such a wonderful artist!)
darn it.. I just checked Learning@GU, and we had a guest lecturer introducing Ecommerce yesterday in lecture - just when I decided not to go. *sigh*, bygones..
oh well, back to today's good news. I was offered the job with Bluewire media! yay, so it wasn't a waste preparing for that interview after all (not to mention the new pants and killer shoes). I don't get why they always call me when I'm in the library, I always have to keep my voice so low. They asked if I had any questions - and eventhough I wanted to know WHEN I can start, I just figured they would need to wait for a client to come. And then when I thought about asking about my pay - hmm, it just didn't feel right since the money wouldn't matter much to me anyway. Plus when I told Sita, she said that I shouldn't ask that anyway.
then after my last class (well only class, since I didn't go to the others), I got a message on my phone from Ben saying how I have to sign the marketing assignment sheet. He seems like such a sweet old man, Anna was saying how he could've just faked all our signatures! So I call him back, and his workmate answers because he left his mobile, but she says she understands the situation and I don't know if it was more me or her, but it sounded like we were having some huge live or death conversation, with her offering to fax the sheet, and me eagerly asking if Ben is coming tomorrow. So she manages to tell me that he has a class at theatre 2 at 3pm, so I could just see him then. I wait and wait outside the lect theatrer for 15 minutes, but it looks like the class isn't leaving and there isn't a new class coming. And then... aha! A sign pointing out that I'm waiting in front of the wrong theater, I should go upstairs! It was already a little after 3, and knowing Ben, I guessed he would already be inside. So in I go into a lecture that I don't belong to. The lecturer was yet to start, but he had his powerpoint slide ready with "Business Law week 11" written in huge fonts. I easily find Ben and volunteered to go to the library to get the sheet and sign and call Anna and give it back to him in 50 minutes. I go to the library in a huff and call Anna on the way - it felt so exciting. But when I got the sheet, turns out only 1 person could sign! Apparently Ben was looking at the sheet from the website, which I don't know why is different from the library one since it does the same thing. I meet Anna outside, she's all nice and smiley, and I explain to her, and she just writes her name and we say goodbye to each other. So I call Mira, and see her and Sita in 1.17, then we go to the coffee roaster which is strategically located just outside the lecture theatre I have to see Ben again at.
Hmmm, what else happened today? Oh, when I was going in to see Ben again, I'm sure I saw that cute guy from info systems from my 1st year. Last time I saw him he was cuddling some chick in Multimedia. Hmph! I also saw a certain someone tee hee He didn't look as cute, but at least he talked to me! haha, maybe that's what made my day!!

tired

2005-05-18T04:53:56Z

one day I'm going to look back and miss all of this
but now, I'm tired!! I still haven't got my presentation prepared for tomorrow - which seems so different from what I used to be like. I suppose I'm more relaxed, which is a good thing. yet, why do I feel stressed?